Comparison is not the Problem?
Healthy art mind
I’ve been musing about comparison since I have had several interessting commments on the topic. Maybe comparison is not the problem. In this last newsletter I had talked about shouting at myself to stop the comparison to other artist that seemingly were more successful than myself, but not comparing myself is that even possible? Is it as set up for failure and unhappiness to tell myself to stop something that is kinda built in and thus I when I compare myself I will feel bad ontop of evrything for not managing to stop the comparison.
Wouldn’t it be kinder to accept that some comparison is inevitable?
I have come to think that in essence comparisson is neither good nor bad. It is part of being human and it has probably served us to strive for things.
But it can be something that isnt’t easy to handle well.
With 16 I had a poster by “CLAMP”(I think it was Magic Knight Rayearth) from some Manga magazine hanging over my bed and I remember thinking “Someday I’ll be as good as that!” That definately fueled me. I spent no thoughts on I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough” I also had the arrogance and illusion of youth that could not see all the hard work that would go into it. Yay for my youngself. :D
Looking at what others do INSPIRES me most days and I love seeing what people create<3
So when comparison is incoming , I will try to use it as fuel and not give myself the negative selftalk that often comes with comparison ”You’re old now and lost the spark..” I can give hundred examples of these voices.
These voices are always an indicator that mentally I’m not in a super stable place and that I should focus on things that help stabalize myself .
Sleep enough (yeah not always easy)
Walk in nature and realise the puniness of my problems, and revel in the beauty of it.
Cuddle my loved ones and don’t take them for granted
Look at all I have and be grateful.
I feel better when journaling → actually do it and not forget about it when everything is fine.
Draw stuff that makes me feel good (nature characters, storyies) not what I admire in others. (Taking inspiration is great but it must alines with me)
All of this is always good xD I know but why do I keep forgetting?
When I manover myself into a darkish place it is hard to find the motivation to dig myself out. Here patience is key and I know doing a couple of these things will tilt slowly everything back into the right course. I’m experiencing just this at the moment<3 It’s
This was also very helpful a comment I got: When negative comparison strikes
“ Go huh, that was a thought” and let it pass. It helps to take my thoughts less seriously and not believe what the brain sometimes vomits up.
Another approach that my husband has with comparison is that he says” I have looked at the field I work in and I have simply accepted that it is HIGHLY COMPETETIVE. I have to hold myself to those high standarts and everything I do has to be as good or better than what the rest is doing otherwise I don’t have to even start doing what I want do. “
We all cope diffferently with the things we compare ourselves to. For me this would be too much pressure. But in a way acceptance of the comparison is again part of the solution.
The big problem is that we often compare ourselves to just the endresults without the story and full picture. It always seems so easy what other people are doing. But would I be willing to put in the sacrifices they do for the achievement.
So let’s make sure to compare wisely and try and discard the ones that aren’t helpful!
How do you deal with comparison? How do you let it fuel you?
I would like to find all the ways that it can work to our advatage.<3
This month’s files(PROCREATE (inc.timelaps) PSD) + Tutorial my PATREON
#schmoescosyartclub
Also let me know in the comments if you would like the bi-weekly #schmoescosy art club back.
Have a great week!
Love,
Schmoe<3
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm in a darker place myself at the moment and yes! Everything you say in your list hits true. But yes, it's so much harder now I'm here, than when I'm happy... Lots of social obligations like Sinterklaas and birthdays are killing me at the moment. But... This too shall pass and in the meantime I'm crafting Secret Santa's, and be present in the moment, enjoying the proces. Being thankful for these little bits to cope in these heavy times...
PS. I miss the cosy art club!
In a book i read as a kid, there was a lesson about comparison that stuck with me until now. One of the characters, called Nillem, was very competitive, always wanting to be the best and, when watching someone do something amazing, was already analysing if and how they could do the same or better. Another character, when asked why she didn’t care about besting Nillem, said it wasn’t interesting to her because the only person she wanted to surpass was herself.
Whenever i feel some envy for someone else’s skills or some discouragement because others are so much better than me, i try and refocus on my own path, remembering her wise words and how we can only be better than the person we were yesterday. Because, like you said, we can’t compare our struggles to the end result of someone else, especially since we don’t even know how hard it might have been for them to get to that point.
But it’s easier said then done, obviously